


Where did all the good go?

by darktensh17



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Hospitals, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: A night at a college holiday party ends up turning ugly when Ben ends up drinking alcoholic beverages laced with unknown drugs. Please mind the tags.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fuckingkyloren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckingkyloren/gifts).



> darkpilot secret santa gift fic for fuckingkyloren (if you have an Ao3 account let me know and I'll be sure to link this directly to it)
> 
> So I combined the things you said you enjoyed in what you would like: smut, angst, college au and noncon with agressor Kylo.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (I would just like to add that I know nothing about hospital and hospital procedures other than what I've seen on TV.

“B-Ben… ng! S-stop, please!” Poe’s voice breaks as he begs his boyfriend to stop, but once again Ben doesn’t seem to be able to hear him. Ben continues to thrust into him without any finesse or care, the saliva leftover when he opened Poe up with his tongue making for inefficient lube.

The springs of the bed they’re on scream in protest from the force of Ben’s thrusts, the headboard continuously slamming on the wall. Poe would be worried about someone hearing them, except that right now he hopes that someone does because he doesn’t want this. No one seems to be able to hear the sounds though, not with how loud the music downstairs is. 

A sharp thrust causes a jolt of pleasure to run through Poe’s body despite all the pain. Poe closes his eyes tightly to stop himself from making any sort of noise but Ben knows his body so well and seems to pick up on it easily, because he keeps hitting that spot even as one large hand wraps around Poe’s half-hard erection.

“Don’t!” Fresh tears spill down Poe’s cheeks as Ben starts to stroke him into fullness, using his body’s natural responses against him. “Please, Ben, stop!” Still nothing; whatever drugs are in his system seems to have clouded Ben’s mind completely. 

Biting his lip, Poe tries desperately to keep quiet; if no one is going to come stop this then he’s going to do his best not to encourage Ben. For awhile the only sounds in the room are those of the bed squeaking and Ben’s own pleasured grunts and groans. It gets to be too much for Poe, who quickly tries to go back to reasoning and pleading with Ben to stop.

It’s still to no avail as Ben continues his relentless onslaught, his body working mostly from muscle memory as he continues to thrust in and out, in and out. As much as Poe hates it, his body is still receiving pleasure and eventually that pleasure builds and crests until Poe can feel himself coming weakly, the pleasure barely cutting through the pain from the too dry drag of Ben inside of him. 

He’s sobbing openly as Ben’s thrusts become more erratic until he’s coming into Poe with a cry, the feeling of his release leaving a burning sensation in Poe’s abused body. Ben rides out the sensation with more shallow thrusts until he’s completely emptied himself in Poe, and then he collapses on top of him, still inside of him, and passes out. 

Poe can’t even begin to force himself to move, he’s in so much pain, but he needs Ben out of him. Hissing at the burn he feels, he pulls away from Ben enough to get out from under him and get Ben’s dick out of his abused ass. Beside him, Ben remains dead to the world, a small frown on his face as he sleeps.

For several moments, Poe sits there, face buried in his hands to muffle his sobs, though eventually he forces himself to move. There’s an ensuite bathroom and all Poe wants to do is take a shower and clean himself up. He’s going to have to clean Ben up too; despite what happened, Poe doesn’t want Ben to wake up naked and covered in cum. This wasn’t really Ben’s fault, it was whatever drugs that were in the drinks that Ben had been consuming must of the night. As he scrubs himself clean in the shower, Poe wonders if maybe this isn’t even partly his fault because he didn’t notice something was wrong sooner. . . 

-

 

The party is no different than any other frat party Poe’s attended in the past; the music is too loud, the booze flows freely, and the party goers are many. The only difference between this part and any others that have happened during the last three years that Poe’s been attending university is the addition of the ugly sweaters and the fact that this time he’s not attending alone. 

Ben’s off getting them more drinks while Poe hangs off to the side watching a group of students he doesn’t know by name attempt to do some kind of mating dance. Or maybe that’s just his anthropology professor talking. It really just looks like they’re waving their arms around without a care in the world. Considering how drunk they appear, that’s likely accurate. 

“Hey, enjoying watching whatever that is?” Ben asks with a laugh as he rejoins Poe and hands him his drink. “One of the grad students was making these so I snagged us two.” 

“Thanks, Ben,” Before Poe can take a sip he spies Finn and Rey across the way waving over at him. “I’m going to go say hi to them, I’ll be right back!” Poe gives Ben his drink to hold and presses a kiss to his cheek, knowing that Ben isn’t Finn and Rey’s biggest fan, mostly due to the fact that he believes they monopolize Poe’s time as his best friends. 

Grumbling to himself, Ben does as he’s told and Poe watches him down most of his own drink as Poe heads off. 

“Poe! How are you enjoying the party so far?” Finn calls out as Poe nears him. “Rey and I just got here, she didn’t want to leave until after we’d eaten.”

Rey gives Finn an annoyed look. “One, it’s better to eat before a party, especially if you’re going to be drinking, and two, you also didn’t want to come until after you finished edits on your paper, which isn’t even due until after the holiday break.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having things done in advance! That way I don’t have to worry about it over the holidays or last minute. Right, Poe?” 

Finn is looking to the wrong person for backup and Poe can only laugh helplessly and shrug. “I’m a master procrastinator; I probably won’t even look at any of my assignments until the last week of break.”

“Poooooeee! That’s so irresponsible! And don’t you encourage it, Rey!” Finn says as Poe and Rey exchange a fist bump. “You two need to be more responsible!”

“We’re passing all our classes with high marks, that’s what matters right?” Poe asks with a cheeky grin, sharing a knowing look with Rey. The two of them are in the same engineering program, while Finn is doing a dual major between politics and law. 

“Irresponsible and impossible!” Finn shouts, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. Poe and Rey don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re laughing at his annoyance. 

Poe soon gets caught up in talking to Finn and Rey for a good portion of the evening, the three of them drifting in to the kitchen to snag some beers before going to a quieter area of the house. It’s hard to hold a conversation above the loud Christmas music. 

Eventually it’s Rey who reminds Poe that he didn’t come here alone. “Are you and Ben going to be spending the holidays together? I saw him in one of the corners as we headed into the kitchen, didn’t you come together?”

“Shit! I forgot about Ben. Fuck. I’m such a crappy boyfriend! I gotta go guys; I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” Poe waves bye to Finn and Rey and desperately begins to search for Ben, knowing that his boyfriend is going to be mad, and really, Poe can’t blame him. 

Eventually someone directs him upstairs, saying they saw Ben in one of the bedrooms drinking alone. That tells Poe that Ben needed to get away from people because he’s more upset than angry and Poe can feel guilt settling in his stomach at the thought that he’s made Ben sad. 

It doesn’t take long for Poe to find Ben in a room at the end of the first floor hallway. The first two rooms he’d checked had featured too many unfamiliar naked asses for Poe’s liking, so he’d had to listen carefully at the next few doors to make sure he didn’t walk in on anymore fun lovings. 

Ben’s sitting on the bed with a large glass of some likely alcoholic concoction and, while he isn’t crying or anything, Poe can tell that he’s upset by the way his lips are quivering ever so slightly. 

“I’m so sorry, Ben.” Poe goes over and sits next to Ben, taking his free hand and giving the palm a kiss. “I am a horrible boyfriend and a jerk and I don’t deserve you. But can you maybe see it in yourself to let me make it up to you and earn your forgiveness?” 

Looking at Poe with glazed eyes Ben nods just slightly but doesn’t say anything. Poe takes that as a good opportunity to pull Ben into a hug, setting his drink aside and kissing his cheek. “Thank you. I really don’t deserve you.”

Instead of replying, Ben leans forward to press their lips together clumsily and Poe doesn’t protest, returning the kiss eagerly. If Ben wants to make out then Poe is all for it; it’s by far the most innocent thing that’s likely being done in any of these rooms. 

When Ben starts to pet him and pull at Poe’s clothes, and when things start getting a little steamier, Poe tries to put a stop to it with a laugh. “Alright, if we want to do that let’s go home, I’m not doing it in some stranger’s bed.” 

He’s not at all prepared for Ben to push him down and practically rip at his clothes. “Ben! Stop it! I said I don’t want to.” Ben doesn’t seem to be able to hear him, and only now is Poe really noticing how vacant Ben’s expression is. “Ben! Hey, snap out of it!” Struggling, Poe tries to push Ben off, but it proves useless; Ben is both taller than him and built of solid muscle, Poe can barely budge him.

It doesn’t stop him from trying to fight. Ben brings a stop to it when he gives Poe a solid smack on the head, causing him to freeze in shock. While Poe’s stunned Ben strips them both of their clothes and yanks Poe’s legs open, beginning to lick at Poe’s cock. 

“Stop!” Poe tries to sit up only to have Ben hold his hips in a bruising grip, with his position between Poe’s legs stops Poe from being able to close them. All Poe can really do is claw at Ben’s hands and try to plead for him to stop, and when that doesn’t work he starts trying to scream for help.

Ben stops and jumps to his feet, grabbing Poe and flipping him over with little effort, purposely trapping his hands under his body and shoving his head into the sheets and cutting off his breath. There’s a warning hand on the back of his neck, pressing hard enough to be painful and Poe hears the unsaid command to remain still.

Desperate to get air, Poe nods his head in understanding and keeps still when Ben releases him, moving back down to his hips and ass before pulling Poe’s legs apart. 

When Ben pushes his tongue into Poe, Poe can’t understand how this is happening, why is Ben doing this? 

-

A groan of pain from the bedroom has Poe snapping back into reality and pulling away from the memories of what just happened. It’s only then that he realizes the water of the shower is near freezing, and to acknowledge the dull pain across his entire body from where he’s scrubbed himself practically raw. Even so, it doesn’t distract from the pain currently shooting up his spine. 

The sound comes again and Poe swallows nervously as he turns the shower off and quickly dries and gets dressed. Before he leaves the bathroom, he grabs a wet cloth so that he can clean Ben up. He doesn’t really want to touch his boyfriend but he can’t leave him lying in bed like that. 

Ben is still lying in the bed but it appears he’s having a bad dream, tossing and turning restlessly. Part of Poe wants to go over and comfort him, but the rest of him still feels Ben’s hands holding him down as he forces himself on Poe.

Biting his lip, Poe gets to work at cleaning Ben up and then getting him dressed. It’s not an easy process but eventually he gets Ben wrestled back into his clothes. He isn’t really sure what else to do afterward, and decides to sit and wait for Ben to wake up.

-

There’s no finesse or care when Ben pulls away, spitting into his hand and rubbing it on himself before grabbing Poe’s hips and pulling him down. 

“Don’t! Please, Ben!” Poe’s words are choked off as he tries not to scream when Ben thrusts into him without any warning. The pain is white hot and Poe freezes up from the intensity of it. It doesn’t stop Ben from pulling out and pushing back in, starting up a brutal rhythm. 

Poe pleads over and over for Ben to stop but Ben doesn’t, he keeps going and going without any care for the pain that he’s inflicting on Poe.

-

Poe jerks awake suddenly, not even recalling falling asleep in the first place. He doesn’t know what woke him up until he registers the sound of retching in the bathroom. When he looks over to the empty bed he notices that Ben isn’t there anymore. Cautiously, he gets to his feet and heads over to the bathroom, looking in and seeing Ben bent over the toilet miserably.

Ben pulls away and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, turning he sees Poe hovering uncertainly in the doorway. “Poe? W-what happened. . ?” His words are slightly slurred and he still seems to be glassy-eyed. “I don’t feel so good.”

It’s obvious that Ben doesn’t know what’s going on and Poe’s love of the other man overrides any potential danger that Ben may pose him. Going over to Ben, he kneels on the floor next to him and pushes his sweaty hair back from his flushed face. He can’t help but wince at the feel of Ben’s skin; it’s hot and clammy, which isn’t a good sign.

“I think those drinks you had were spiked with something,” Poe says honestly. “You were pretty different before passing out.”

Ben frowns trying to process the words. “D-did I do anything bad?” The words come out almost childlike.

Poe says nothing, instead focuses on getting Ben some water and forcing him to drink. “We should take you to the hospital; god knows what it was in those drinks and how it reacted with the alcohol.” They came to the party in Ben’s car and Poe is pretty sure that he can drive; a glance at his watch reveals that it’s early morning and by the sounds of it the party has long since died off.

“N-noooo. . . want to go home.” Whimpering pathetically, Ben turns to vomit into the toilet again. “Just wanna sleep.”

“I’m sorry Ben, but we need to get you checked out.” Pushing aside any thought of his own injuries, Poe helps Ben to his feet, and somehow with Ben’s clumsy help gets the two of them to the car. 

The drive to the hospital is unnaturally quiet, other than Ben’s occasional gagging into a bucket Poe had found in the trunk. 

Explaining why they’d gone to the hospital was a nerve racking experience, and Poe is thankful when they’re finally admitted and Ben is given a room and started on an IV drip to rehydrate him. By this time, Ben has passed out again and Poe can’t really do anything but sit and hold his hand while they wait for the results of Ben’s blood tests. 

“Excuse me, could I speak with you for a second?” It’s one of the nurses popping her head in and gesturing for him to join her in the hall. 

Poe gets up and joins her outside. “Is there something wrong with Ben’s tests?” Worried, Poe glances back in at Ben, wondering if he’s going to have to call Leia and Han and tell them what’s happened. 

The nurse shakes her head; she’s an older Hispanic lady who stands slightly shorter than Poe. Seeing her suddenly makes him think of and long for his mother. “Your boyfriend’s tests haven’t come back yet. I wanted to talk to you about your bruises. I’ve noticed you’re limping.” She stands a little closer making sure her voice is low. “Do you need to file a report or a rape kit?” 

Oh. Poe feels his lower lip trembling and he shakes his head trying to fight the tears. “No. . . I. . . it’s not Ben’s fault. H-he, the drugs.” Poe can’t quite get the words out, not past the lump in his throat. 

“It’s alright dear, why don’t I take you into a room and we’ll do an examination? Make sure that you’re okay.” Her voice is kind and her hand gentle when she lays it on his arm. “If you don’t want to press any charges that’s up to you, but it’s better to at least get looked at.” 

Casting a nervous glance into the room at Ben’s sleeping form, Poe nods his assent and allows the nurse to lead him into one of the free rooms. The exam is invasive and Poe tries to pretend he’s somewhere else during it, even as the doctor performing the test keeps asking questions about what happened. Poe is adamant about not pressing charges against Ben, because it’s not Ben’s fault. Blood is drawn to make sure that Poe hasn’t contracted anything, not that he was concerned since he and Ben have been exclusive for over a year now.

In the end the doctor gives him a prescription for antibiotics and gives him some cream that Poe will need to apply twice a day. Poe thanks the doctor and hurries back into Ben’s hospital room to sit by his side. 

The doctor in charge of Ben comes in with Ben’s results; there’s a cocktail of drugs in his blood stream that are reacting badly. They want to keep Ben until they’re certain it’s all out of his system and not having any adverse effects. There are more questions asked about the party and the drinks Ben had, but Poe can’t answer them all. At some point, Poe goes down and gets their prescriptions before coming back up to sit next to Ben’s hospital bed. 

Exhausted, Poe eventually falls asleep at Ben’s bed side, only waking up when Ben calls his name gently. Blinking awake, Poe looks up blearily into Ben’s smiling face.

“Morning, sunshine.” Ben’s big brown eyes are bright and shinning with love but Poe can also see concern lurking in them. “You shouldn’t sleep like that; you’re going to get a sore neck.”

“Ben!” Poe jumps to his feet and throws his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “You’re okay, you’re you again!”

A frown mars Ben’s face. “I’m me again?” He looks Poe over, taking in the same bruises the nurse had noticed earlier. “I don’t remember much after you went off to hang out with Finn and Rey, but the nurse told me that I was essentially drugged.” He hesitates before asking. “Does that have anything to do with those bruises?” he asks, his voice going small and uncertain.

Poe doesn’t want to admit it or say anything, but he knows he can’t keep it from Ben. “What happened wasn’t your fault Ben, it was the drugs.” 

“What did I do, Poe?” Ben asks again, sitting up and reaching for Poe. “I know I must have hurt you, but how badly?”

Without hesitation, Poe takes Ben’s hand and presses a kiss to the palm. “I found you upstairs in one of the bedrooms once I said my goodbyes to Finn and Rey. You were already gone, you wouldn’t even talk to me, or, it’s more likely that you couldn’t. I didn’t really think anything of it, apologized for essentially abandoning you gave you a hug and kiss and then. . . “ 

It’s not as easy to talk about; it wasn’t easy to tell the nurse and doctor but it’s impossible to get the words out now. It doesn’t take Ben to put two and two together though, and Poe has to keep a tight grip on his hand when he tries to pull away.

“No. . . oh God. . . I-I didn’t. . .”

Ben’s trembling and Poe shakes his head quickly, getting up so that he can try to hug Ben. “You didn’t know, you weren’t in charge of your faculties. It’s not your fault what happened. Those grad students and the drugs are responsible. I don’t blame you.” It won’t stop Ben from blaming himself and Poe knows that Ben will do anything he can to make up for it. 

“Poe. . .” Ben seems to want to pull away but Poe isn’t going to let him. He’s not going to let Ben punish himself for this. 

Poe shakes his head and plows on. “We’ll heal and work through this Ben, so don’t blame yourself and don’t. . . don’t pull away from me.” Tears are gathering and Poe doesn’t fight them back. “I couldn’t bear it if I lost you because of this.”

Nodding hesitantly, Ben pulls Poe closer and presses a kiss to the top of Poe’s head. “Alright. . . but I’m still sorry and I’m going to make it up to you in any way that I can.”

“I wouldn’t mind a little spoiling,” Poe admits, “but don’t feel that you have to in order to make things better, because there isn’t anything that you have to make up for.”

“I’m still going to do it,” Ben says, stubbornly hugging Poe tighter. “I promise. I love you.”

Smiling, Poe snuggles closer to Ben. “And I love you, too.”


End file.
